有时真的很鄙视那些为了一些利益，把自己当成寄生虫，附在当权者身上，完全不像自己，haiz...
Hey Journal,
I'm not working anymore! Yeah.. now this is when i start thinking about all the times i spent money on stupid things. Like WHY did i buy all those hair products for? I�don't really use them anyways. You know if i had listened everytime my mom said that this job isn't going to last forever and that i should spend my money on better things... maybe i wouldn't be left with almost nothing. Yes.. ALMOST nothing.
Then I�start thinking about
CHI.
ONE TREE HILL.
i was saving up for those. =( -sigh-
Now that the economy sucks. I don't believe that people will actually consider hiring a 14 year old like me. PAPER ROUTE TIME!.
Searching,
Blahbee
so iv got this boyfriend, james. god he's a dick. it was my birthday last week and he didnt get me nuthin. id struggled on my benefit money last month to get his present. and its so not a case of give-to-recieve he's my boyfriend for fucksakes! nothing not evena card. i'm skint he says. he's on double what i earn a week. fuck all. but somehow he has �200quid 2 spend on shagged nitro cars, and now he's managed to find �300 to buy a shagged Nova. funny that. he was skint 6 days ago on my bday, but he's�spent�500 frikkin quid since then. is�this just me bein pathetic? god he's a fucker. fuck him anyway..
iv got these friends...thats so not the right�word for them. there's these guys. (well 4, but the�4th doesn't count-i'll tell all at a later date) Ed, Luke and Andrew.�
Ed is my weed dealer. yes i smoke weed, so frikkin what? its fucking amazing. anyway.... i think im reading way too much into the ed thing. he does this eye contacty thing that makes me go....hhhhhhhmmmmmmm. he's gorgeous. nothing wud ver come of it. he's just nice to look at. ans sometimes he makes me think that i do his head in. i do that sometimes....annoy the ppl i like. i tend to blabber shite and not make sense.
Andrew. hhhhmmm. he's a tricky one to 'get'. he's from cyprus n he's a bloody charmer. twice he's made me fall for him. intentionally? idont know. he's so nice and i find it har to believe he'd lead me on on purpose. he knows i like him, he just kinda chooses to ignore that. i mean, he'll flirt n charm n be sweet but as soon as i'm like 'aaaawwwwwwwwww ur so sweet, can i keep you?' he's like 'arrrrggh'; and runs a mile. no ctually, its not like that at all. i think we both really like eachother, but we both kno itd never work. im a single mum of 2 with no cash no job, livin in wales�and an actual shit for a boyfriend. Andrew lives in london and has just passed his teaching course. a match made in heaven....? i think not. still, a girl can dream.
and Luke. Luke is the best friend of the guy number 4 i mentioned earlier. He's sweet. he's hot. he's horny. he's a rockstar. u kno wot actually...he's my perfect guy, and if he was single, and i was single we'd be sorted. if he wasn't best mates with guy number 4. and that is a big problem. god i wish luke was single. it'd all� be so simple.
but im not a cheat. i'll flirt all i want. but i wont cheat. not even with luke. fuck he's hot.
i want a birthday present
So, my first day. please be nice.. i just need somewhere to rest my head. so much confusion and no voice to speak. no ears to hear. dont get me wrong, im not a deaf mute with no friends. quite the opposite. im blessed with a partner, friends and 2 beautiful children. just sometimes, in a sea of faces, of eyes and ears, i feel so alone. im surrounded by people. sometimes i die for a minutes peace. but im alone.
i cant speak of these things because of the hurt il cause. although i doubt i can hurt anyone else more than iv hurt myself. god i ache. so much sometimes that i swear it'll kill me. but thank god i have an amazing sense of humour. and even on the days where im bawling my eyes out coz im hurting so bad, mostly i can laugh my way out. so i want to bring you all with me on this rollercoaster. im making a change. it'll be emotional, but im bloody funny. i want to show you all its not that bad. even if it feels like the end of the world right now. so join me over this period of time. ul laugh, ul cry, and mostly....
i dont want to do this on my own
Hey,
It's been a really long time. Summer is here... and it is really boring. I can't believe what school did for me. Friends, homework. Those were all things to be grateful for and i can't believe i never really realized that summer can SUCK so much. IT's only been about 2 weeks and i'm literally dying of boredome. =(�
God. I�feel so sad.
Me and my friends went to Ed fest last year. TOGETHER. I think their not going this year... so i would have no one to go with. It's so lonely.
FHI Hotsauce - I read many reviews and it is supposed to work. Let's see, it's supposed to ... moisturize your hair from inside out when you use your straightener or blowdryer. IT's a miracle. 2 WEEKS TILL IT COMES!.
cant wait
love
blahbee
BM:
#1 430am!
that skunk made me get up, she peed a little bit right away not sure if she did it just to get a treat so I did not (never when she gets me out of bed after 1am when she gets taken out at 1am-does she get a treat)
730� 9am 1230
#2 still waiting
EYES:� clear of any new ulcers or blisters some redness in left(good) eye.
gave dry eye drops both eyes
ENERGY: up beat, peppy interested
MOBILITY: stiff, after she relieves her self does not want to walk. just like yesterday when i gave her a 1/4 tab of traumedel she walked better in the afternoon. not sure I can give it to her everyday??
HEARING:� good
APPETITE:� hearty as usual. tolerating supplements.
OTHER:� Hind legs still heavily scabbed and a little red. Pads healing fast. Tummy still scabbed.tummy and hind legs show a little yellow today instead of the pink that was there yesterday. does not look swollen like infection.
Well lately things have been quite boring. Nothing new I know... trust me. haha Anyways Im like totally syched for a horse show and well to tell you the truth I hope I kick this one girls ass cause frankly... she's been getting on my nerves. My dad was all like
"Hey I could take her horse out, I could do right not"
He ment shoot. But Im pretty sure that would so NOT go over well.
Well Im bored now...even more bored than when I had logged on. so wtyl
Finally went to sleep at 7 in tha morning, Started thunderin n lightin, so bad that my room was shaking....just tha way i like it!....Then my man called me at 9 in tha morning and i was like ummm im finna sleep till 12 n then ima call you and he like aight so then i went back ta sleep and my alarm neva went off sooooooooo he called me at 2:15 n woke my ass up. So i went ta tha bank and took out 700$ fo tha trip im goin on ....had ta drive ta my man house give him 100$...spent bout 20 mins with him basically talkin shit cuz he was outside with house shoes on, and just shorts on....with his shorts pulled down ta basicaly more then half way down his boxers and basically was walkin round fixin his cousins car half naked so i had ta give him some shit and pull his pants up...then i had ta drive home, get ready for work......Then after work at 6 i was suppost ta drive ta tha other side of town to pick up this youngin and take her home but i guess she already has a ride tomorrow...then i drove home and now im babysittin this bad ass lil boy who dumped a half of bottle of water on me before i got out tha car.....my man is out doing whooooo no's what but at least he calls me every time he goes to a different house....tha parents aren't goin ta be home till 2 soooo i get ta sit here andddd tomorrow i gotta get up and go ta tha dells with tha black family that raised me ....i dunno im jus really annoyed right now cuz im bored n i got my damn period.........thaaaaaaaaaa end
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